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gotham life coach lovers
How I Get It Done

Relationships

In addition to life and career coaching, I’m a former nationally published advice columnist where I helped my readers successfully navigate complex issues related to personal relationships, intimacy and dating. In my life coaching business, I leverage the same cutting-edge research and diagnostic skills that informed my popular national column while I work closely with clients to identify and defuse potential triggers, reshape deceptive self-perceptions, build self-confidence and recognize destructive patterns and habits–all leading to healthier relationships and dating success through a healthier you.

One of the key tools I use to help both individuals and couples navigate personal relationships is what I refer to as my “Lock Down Corner” strategy. Based on the need for top NFL cornerbacks (and all premier athletes and competitors for that matter) to retain a short memory of completed passes in order to successfully defend the next long ball, I work closely with my clients to defuse their trigger patterns. Often those few words said or that brief cold shoulder brandished is piled on top of past slights imagined or real, adding up to an explosive reaction that dwarves the immediate perceived affront. To maintain more harmonious relationships, I help my clients attain greater mindfulness, addressing the situation at hand like the isolated incident it is, and confronting it without the added-on anger or intensity (or stockpiling) that results from grouping perceived or real slights into a noxious slag of rage that seems to come from nowhere. When we do our best to shorten our memories and live in the present, we allow our partners the same break we deserve when we too resort to our annoying nitpicking, bitching or temper flare. It’s a process and it takes a great deal of work, but the results can be extraordinary – if not exactly lifesaving, relationship-saving. It is but one of the many techniques in my relationship-mending arsenal.

Dating

In addition to addressing the low self-esteem, self-sabotage and related stumbling blocks we all throw in front of ourselves while putting ourselves out there, I leverage my copywriting expertise to do a forensic analysis of how you’re representing yourself in the online dating community, what type of person your profile is likely to attract in its current state and how I can help you attract the person you actually want to share your precious life and love with. More importantly, I work tirelessly to come up with new and creative solutions and exercises to refresh self-confidence and combat the understandable fatigue and disillusionment that online dating instills in even the most optimistic and confident among us. Dating online (or otherwise) is a particularly bruising experience requiring a Kevlar-clad constitution, a high tolerance for some bad company and a healthy sense of humor. I’ll help you keep it real, providing upbeat motivation as you progress from swiping left, left, left, left again and again and again damn it, until, with a bit of motivation and guidance, you finally get it right.