My Philosophy
Life, career and relationship coaching is basically a conversation, a guided one that when in the hands of a skilled practitioner leads the client to greater self-insight resulting in concrete decisions and actions consistently taken toward specific goals leading to greater personal and professional fulfillment, and yes, happiness. When done correctly, the skills learned in the coaching process become a set of life tools the client can take with them, continuing to unlock doors, break glass ceilings, ratchet down negative presumptions, turn up self-esteem, tweak bad habits and keep hammering away at defined goals. Typical goals you might be interested in pursuing include (get ready, it’s a laundry list): weight loss, a new job, a loving relationship, a healthier lifestyle, becoming physically fit, work/life integration, anger management, cold-calling & sales mastery, maximizing income / eliminating under-earning, improved management skills, greater patience, tackling anxiety or fear, handling rejection, taking on depression, responding to a toxic work environment, establishing boundaries, navigating online dating, interacting with family, getting over a breakup, becoming a better parent, starting a new business, dealing with addiction, managing grief and disappointment, balancing an artistic life and “day job”, acquiring public speaking skills, becoming more efficient, getting rid of clutter and many more.
When helping clients achieve high-performance in the above areas, I institute a balanced “partnering” approach to coaching that promotes self-discovery through thoughtful questions and techniques that lead clients to self-resolutions that resonate from within and become part of their permanent life and business skills tool kit. I also draw on the fields of organizational and human psychology to create customized exercises, breathing and relaxation techniques, visualization journeys, coping mechanisms and self-analysis skills that help you create new habits and behaviors leading to personal and professional goals and a more balanced life. The final elements in my coaching arsenal are my impeccable research skills and strong foundational knowledge of human and organizational behaviors and industry specific acumen, what I collectively refer to as the “strategic content” I employ to lead you to informed decision-making and stronger life choices that promote personal and professional growth and lasting change in a number of areas.
Unlike counseling (or therapy) life coaching does not drill down into our murky past, but instead focuses on the here and now, what can be changed in the present (starting right fricking now) that will lead to a productive and fulfilling near-future. For me, it’s about creating those slight course corrections that lead to major directional change and lasting transformation over time. Those corrections can come in many forms but more often than not involve customized tools, habits and responses specifically designed to master clients’ limiting self-beliefs, paralyzing procrastination, immobilizing fears, pronounced anxieties, self-defeating habits, struggles with willpower, tendency to under-perform and habit of focusing on the past or just getting by. As overwhelming as that little dirty laundry list may sound, I refer to those smelly little gems as comforts, because that is in essence where our battle line is drawn; we are all comfortable in our current state, no matter how discomfiting that state may be, or we’d be in another state. I am a master motivator with proven skill in helping the most resistant among us trade the masochism of illusion-based comfort for the temporal uncertainty and long-term fulfillment of life-altering change.
I’d like to allude one more time here to my intentional departure from existing coaching dogma and their go-to jargon like “never provide answers, merely ask more questions until your client finds their own answers.” While I’ve mentioned above that this absolutist approach is well-intended, and even has some scientific backing, I’ve found that in real life that every client is different. Priming a client with a “forbidden” answer or potential solution, can actually spur them to riff on my suggestion, bending and shaping it, until they own it. Sometimes they won’t own it but the action they may take spurs a positive behavioral change…the action itself. In general, I don’t succumb to dogma, I research my ass off, use every tool at my disposal, try every approach imaginable, and some crazy-ass shit too, whatever it takes to get you to think differently, behave differently, form better habits. If providing you with answers will motivate you toward your life goals, you can bet your ass, there will be answers. And if those don’t work, we’ll come up with different answers. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you work your ass off toward positive, lasting change, the kind that leads to the life you deserve.
One last bit is that my style won’t be for everyone, and by god, that’s okay. In fact, it’s awesome. If you’re in a state where you desire personal or professional change and you’ve taken the time to schedule a complementary assessment or carefully comb through a few websites, it means you’re actively working toward your goal. If, after conducting your research you’ve read this webpage or contacted me and said to yourself “not for me” you’re already way ahead of the game. You’ve got the self-confidence to know what you want and stick to your guns. But seriously, I mean holy shit, if you’ve gotten this far, I’m probably your guy.
The coach / client relationship is just that, a relationship, and like any other successful partnership it involves chemistry. I won’t bullshit you, I have a fairly massive personality that combines tremendous passion, a slight tendency toward potty-mouth, thoughtful compassion and a big ole bleeding flub-dub… hey I cried with Mark Wahlberg when he thought Optimus Prime died… okay I might have been laughing so hard I cried at that shit, but hell…the point is I’m not for everyone. Any coach who claims to be shouldn’t be in this business.
